By james art
BY JEDON HOLLOWAY-TALLY | Special to the Birmingham Times
BERNICE AND JOE COOPER
Live: Pine Ridge [Oxmoor area]
married: February 11, 1961
I met: November 1959 at Bernice’s family home in Birmingham, in the Airport Hills neighborhood. Her uncle, who was close in age to her, lived with their family and worked with Joe for a cleaning service. Bernice and Joe met one Saturday night when he drove her uncle home from work.
“I talked to Bernice and she smiled and we talked for a while and that’s how it started,” Joe recalled.
“He was dark and handsome, and when he came into the house behind my uncle I thought he was a good-looking man. I was 19 and I wasn’t looking for a husband because I was raised that way [her future husband] he had to find me,” Bernice said.
“I asked her if I could call her and she said yes and I called her the next day. I remember going to see her once or twice at her house to sit on the sofa, because I had to gain the confidence of her mother and father; I wanted them to know what kind of man I was before I asked to take her out,” Joe said.
First date: December 1959 They were hanging out at Bernice’s friend’s house in the Brookside area. “There were other people there, it was a gathering, my sister and my uncle were there too … I was just happy to be out and alone with Joe,” she said.
“I remember having a nice conversation. We were still getting to know each other. I wasn’t trying to pressure her in any way, I wanted to make sure she understood that I was a good human being… My father and older brothers taught me to treat my girlfriend the way I would want to be treated my sister and that’s what I did,” he said.
The order: In late January 1960, Joe and Bernice realized they had “the real thing.”
“I asked Bernice to be my girlfriend after the first or second date, but every day we got closer and more comfortable with each other,” he said. “And as our trust in each other grew, that’s when we realized we had the real thing with each other.”
“We talked every day and I was waiting for him to call because we were getting closer and understanding each other better. And I realized I was falling for him after Christmas [1959] it was past,” she said.
The proposal: November 1960 at Bernice’s Birmingham home in the Airport Hills neighborhood. This was the night they were going to tell Bernice’s parents that they had agreed to get married.
A few weeks before that, “we were sitting on the couch and I asked her if she would marry me and she said yes.” And we kept it to ourselves for a couple of weeks and kept talking about it, and then one night right before Thanksgiving we decided to tell her parents,” Joe recalled. “I told her father I’d like to speak to him and Mrs. Jackson for a minute, told him my plan and asked if they minded me marrying her, and neither of them objected,” Joe said.
“I knew they would agree because they respected my opinion, so it went well. They agreed heartily. I was the oldest of seven and they were happy to give me a hand,” Bernice said.
The wedding: At Bernice’s family home in Birmingham. Her father built an arch, decorated it with flowers and greenery, and made the floral bouquet that she walked down the aisle with. Their colors were red, white and black, and the ceremony was performed by Reverend Bowens of Pleasant View Missionary Baptist Church.
The most memorable thing about the bride “was when it was all over,” laughed Bernice. “It was very stressful and nerve-wracking to get everything ready because it was mainly me and my dad [preparing everything]. And when they said ‘now you’re going to cling to your wife and they’re going to be one flesh,’ I was happy it was over and we got married,” Bernice said.
The most memorable thing about the groom “was when the preacher said, ‘You are now husband and wife.’ When you told me I was happy. I wasn’t ashamed to kiss my bride, she was mine and I did it,” Joe laughed.
Words of wisdom: “Do not live with anyone, it is best to leave father and mother and make your own home and cling to each other. Keep Christ at the center of your home and keep courting. Remember that God has brought you together, pray always together and never retire for the night angry with each other,” Bernice said. “Agree that divorce is not the solution. Remember that criticism is annoying and destroys love, so try not to criticize so much. Love is something you have to work on daily. You must be wise with money and be determined to speak softly and kindly.
“What helped me in my marriage is my upbringing. I come from a good home and my mother and father taught me [life principles]and told me to take their advice because one day I would have a family of my own and be able to make good godly decisions,” Joe said. “My mother used to talk to me about how I should treat my wife and these were regular conversations. I respected my mother and father so much and that’s why I respect my wife so much and growing up; I always remembered [my parents] advice.”
Happily ever after: The Coopers attend Liberty Faith Christian Church in Bessemer, where Joe serves as an elder and Bernice is a church mother. They have three grown daughters: Robin Cooper, Yolanda Pearson and Josette Cooper, two grandchildren and four great-grandchildren.
Bernice, 84, is a native of Birmingham and a graduate of Hooper City High School. He attended Lawson State Community College where he earned an associate degree in office management. She worked for Blue Cross Blue Shield of Alabama for over 25 years before retiring in 1999 and is spending her retirement side by side with her husband.
Joe, 84, born in Union Springs, Ala., attended Merit High School and worked at Merita Bread for 33 years before retiring in 2002. He spent his retirement “trying to please my wife.” , he laughed.
“You Had Me at Hello” highlights married couples and the love that binds them. If you would like to be considered for a future Hello column, or know someone who is, please send nominations to Barnett Wright [email protected]. Include the couple’s name, contact number(s), and what makes their love story unique.
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