Ebstein: An important lesson from Winston Churchill and his best friend – Daily Independent

Jill Ebstein

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By Jill Ebstein | Founder, Sized Right Marketing

November is likely to be a difficult month for many Americans. The outcome of the election – regardless of direction – will cause alarm and more for much of our country. At the same time, November is the month we celebrate Thanksgiving, and for some it can be hard to find gratitude. Winston Churchill may have the antidote for us and it is written in the subject of ‘friendships’.

We know how important friendships are to maintaining a healthy outlook on life, and science backs this up. Based on a review of 38 studies, researchers found that friendships significantly predict well-being and can protect us in many ways, including depression and anxiety. Research also shows that people with no or poor quality friendships are twice as likely to die prematurely.

In this day and age, maintaining our friendships can be challenging and our anxiety runs deep. We tend to be “featherheads”, usually staying in our echo chambers with like-minded people. It feels more comfortable, but it comes at a price. We do not allow ourselves the opportunity for more diverse thinking.

With this in mind, I found a story about Winston Churchill fascinating. It turns out that his best friend does not share Churchill’s aristocratic background or his political views. FE Smith grew up in an industrial suburb of Liverpool and was the eldest son of seven children. Smith’s family came from humble origins and FE received his primary education at various low-reputation schools in Liverpool. He failed the entrance exam for Harrow, where Winston Churchill enrolled two years later. Instead, FE attended a low-prestige school – Wadham College, Oxford. There he was recognized as a brilliant scholar and won a First in Jurisprudence.

In time the FE would enter politics and represent industrial labor as their articulate mouthpiece. His Conservative Labor Association in Liverpool distrusted the Liberal Party and those who sought to restrict free trade. After practicing as a barrister, he became a royal counsel and eventually won a seat as a Conservative MP. Once in office, he was comfortable attacking the Liberal opposition with wit and debating skills.

It didn’t take long for Churchill to get to know and appreciate Smith, even though they were on opposite sides of the fence. Churchill had started out as a Conservative but switched to the Liberal Party when he supported free trade. This in turn led to his appointment as Under-Secretary in the new Liberal government.

Despite their political differences, there was a deep respect for each other’s intellect. Although most disagreed, Churchill often sought Smith’s advice. In addition to Smith’s guidance, Churchill valued his support, which he undoubtedly needed through the many ups and downs of Churchill’s career.

Smith’s support was particularly important when Churchill’s Gallipoli campaign failed during the First World War. Allied ships were to pass through the Dardanelles, capture Constantinople, and take Ottoman Turkey out of the war. Instead it was a draw with huge British casualties. Clementine, Churchill’s wife, watched as Smith single-handedly tried to support Churchill with visits, letters and the like.

Smith’s loyalty led Churchill to characterize Smith as having “the virtues of a dog”, and this would be one of the many times Smith supported Churchill despite their considerable philosophical differences.

Their differences were many. Smith believed that Churchill, as Home Secretary in 1910, should use troops to fight the striking Welsh miners. Smith also opposed the Liberal Party’s “People’s Budget”. However, after Smith was promoted to Attorney General and Churchill was in exile, Smith continued to support him, which explains why Churchill said of their friendship, “It was one of my most prized possessions.”

As we move into November, facing the presidential election and the Thanksgiving holiday, is there a lesson we can learn from Churchill and Smith’s friendship? A little research reveals that there are many “strange” friendships between people who seem philosophically very different. Hunter Thompson, famous in the counterculture, was close friends with conservative politician Pat Buchanan. Ulysses S. Grant was close friends with James Longstreet, who fought for General Robert E. Lee and the Confederate Army. It was Longstreet who convinced Lee to surrender to Grant. From their time together as cadets at West Point, Longstreet knew that Grant would be generous in terms.

Many friendships defy the odds and matter. It would do our health good if we could reach out this November and find a friend as FE Smith was to Churchill – a man whose views differ but whose friendship is true.

Can we do it?

Jill Ebstein is the editor of the At My Pace book series and founder of Sized Right Marketing, a consulting firm in Massachusetts. Reader reactions, pro or con, are welcome at [email protected].