By james art The Gaither family: grandmother Donna Toney-Gaither, mother Tomisha Gaither and daughter and LEAD girl A’lani Gaither.
By Judy Holcomb-Pack
They can be called Team Gaither, the family of Donna Toney-Gaither, Tomisha Gaither, and A’lani Gaither, who are enthusiastic supporters and participants of LEAD Girls of North Carolina. In an interview with The Chronicle at the LEAD Girls location on First Street, grandmother Donna said she first learned about LEAD Girls in a story about Joy Nelson Thomas, founder and CEO, in The Chronicle. She thought it would be a good experience for her granddaughter, A’lani, but she was in elementary school at the time and too young for the program.
Donna told her daughter about LEAD Girls and they agreed it was something to “put on our calendar” for when A’lani started middle school.
They were even more convinced that this was the right place for A’lani when they spoke with the LEAD Girls, who were at the Juneteenth festival promoting the program. Donna noted, “The girls were manning their booth and talking about LEAD girls, which impressed me.” She later saw them at Christmas for the Town and couldn’t wait for the time when A’lani could join the group.
As A’lani progressed through middle school, they were disappointed to learn that her school did not have a LEAD Girls group, so A’lani could not join until she went to Wiley Middle School. Little did A’lani know that her grandmother and mother intended for her to join the LEAD Girls. “I didn’t realize until I was already signed up,” A’lani said.
“In the beginning I was very nervous and shy, my confidence was very low. I’ve always had it, but LEAD Girls brought it out,” A’lani said. A’lani plays first grade violin in the Winston-Salem Symphony’s PLAY program. (Piedmont Learning Academy for Youth), their music education program inspired by El-Sistema, which emphasizes the education of the whole child: head, heart and hands. She was looking forward to meeting new friends and learning new things.
What makes LEAD Girls unique is that while the girls participate in their own activities, their parents can participate in the Parent Program. Donna and Tomisha enjoy being a part of this program, especially the opportunity to talk about parenting and family issues. Tomisha said the topics can “raise a lot of emotion” and often she and her mother will continue to talk about the topic later at home. She also added with a laugh, “It helps deal with the funky teenage years we’re going through right now.”
Donna said, “It takes a village, and while they (LEAD Girls) are focused on the child, they’re also focused on the parents.” She’s surprised by the number of people — moms and dads or two — who come to the Parent Program. She and Tomisha particularly enjoyed the cooking class, where they tried foods they had never tried before and discovered they liked them. Other recent sessions offered financial freedom, mental health first aid and when love isn’t enough.
Karena Sherrill, Resource Development Officer for LEAD Girls, said: “The program is in nine schools in the district. The Community Program is for any girl who does not have a leading girl in her school. It meets on the second and fourth Saturday of the month. We just finished the cooking class, Cheryl said. “These programs support both girls and families.”
A’lani added that the LEAD Girls are signing a petition that says “Whatever happens, stays in space.” Confidentiality is very important in building trust. Tomisha said she was glad A’lani had someone other than her or her mother to talk to. Donna said she knows A’lani is learning a lot about communication and leadership skills and is taking them home with her. Sometimes she’ll notice her grandmother acting sad or frustrated and say, “We need a family talk.” Tomisha adds, “We’re all learning together.”
A’lani is learning skills like fashion design and entrepreneurship, and during Fashion Camp this summer, she started her own jewelry business called Oh La La Bracelets and More. Tomisha said: “It’s hard for me to be away (with her business) but she’s a fraud. Now I am her employee!”
LEAD Girls certainly brought this family closer together. Tomisha said: “Everything they do, we are there! You show up and show support.” She added that she’s seen changes in A’lani since joining LEAD Girls, such as “Seeing her make the right choices, even as friends. … She wakes up on Saturday morning ready to go.”
The grandmother and mother add that LEAD Girls also supports them. Donna said, “It’s a safe place, it’s a program that, if you’re having trouble with your granddaughter (or daughter), helps with communication. This is a model that should be expanded to all of North Carolina.
“It brings us closer together.”
For more information on LEAD Girls go to https://www.leadgirls.org/.