Dating apps are as bad as everyone says? Baton Rouge experts and users weigh. – The defender

Amy Tsimo Ledet has been in dating apps for years from college. She had seen iterations and tendencies to come and go. It uses many fish, bees and non -existent applications that do not even remember the names of anymore.

But it was often disappointing.

“It was always like,” I won’t find anyone, “she said. “Every time I started talking to someone and I would think” maybe “has never been the right person.”

The more time lasts, the more dates it continues. The more the relationship ended, the more she reconciled that he might just not find someone in Baton Rouge. Over the years, she has been considering moving away from Louisiana, and in the fall of 2021. She actively explores and plans to work remotely from different cities to see where she wants to take the next steps.

Maybe she would be more lucky that way.

Dating apps are the main way people find love in the modern era, but people also like to hate them. Horror stories abound – entire television series and novels are written for catfish and fraud that can and have struck people. A lot of ink has spilled on the public impact of meeting people online, instead of in established social circles and what can do to the younger generations. In Baton Rouge, online forums and group friends who look alike resemble the lack of options, the lack of matches or the spread of bots/fraud/select your poison.

But the apps are as bad as everyone says?

Short answer: It’s complicated.

Dating app trenches

For those in the trenches, it feels rough.

“It’s really hard to find quality men who want to add value to your life, against just stressing or lying or ghosts,” said Crystal Gatro, who lives in Gonzalez.

Gateau is also out of college applications.

“I am usually disappointed with bad experiences and I give up for months or a year, and then I’ll always go back when I’m single,” she said.

Sometimes the people with whom she coincides or tries to meet make ridiculous and inappropriate remarks about her or her body. One date could not personally meet her eyes (he was sweet on the phone). When it comes time to pay, his card refused. Some of her friends have fallen for scammers who represent potential matches online.

For the 34 -year -old Brian Barry, who is from New York, the interconnected nature of Baton Rouge is additional challenges.

“For me, as a lonely person, no children, no former marriages, I think it makes it difficult, especially not from Baton Rouge, as it is my own – I don’t want to say cliquey area – but something like a kind of area you know, how do you You know this person, a type of ordeal. “

Barry was hard to get matches. When he coincided with someone, he rarely walked everywhere, which became a vicious cycle. He was not so invested in the interaction of the applications because he did not get much out of it, which meant that he rarely checked them. This led to some involuntary ghosts/leaving people hanging. He also thinks it is more difficult to make a connection, because things like sarcasm and intonation are difficult to transmit text.

Barry is already out of applications, prefering to make connections in real life and focus on himself. He approaches people who meet in bars and said he felt bad for boys who have always lived in a time when dating apps were norm – if they don’t learn how to get closer to real -life people (the norm when he was in college), which could do things more difficult.

The experts weigh

But does the problems seem that Baton Rouge has dating applications specific to this area? Or are they just problems with applications? Or with people?

Dating coach Erika Etin from a little press said that it was not generally the fault of the city. However, she has never met the problem that people are not interested in transplants in the city, which 4 of 5 of the transplants described for this article.

“Everyone is glad to complain about dating,” she said. “What I think many people don’t realize is that it takes a lot of work. You need to sift a lot of things to get to good people, but most people want to give up or complain about it before they reach this moment. It’s easy to blame your city. It’s easy to blame everything you want. It’s easy to blame the app. The app is there to help. You just have to use it well. “

Some challenges simply reflect public realities.

For example, there is a difference in educational achievements between men and women. According to Pew Research in 2024, 47% of American women between the ages of 25 to 34 have a bachelor’s degree, compared to 37% of men. According to Etin, men have a better time to get matches than women. Women carry the main weight of aggressive behavior and verbal attacks due to online disinfection (where people behave differently online than they would be in real life).

For those who read this and feel burned because of some of these factors, Etin said it wasn’t you.

“The extent to which people are socially connected influences behavior as there is a reinforcement mechanism to ensure that people will behave appropriately,” says D -R Jess Carbino, who was previously a sociologist as staff For Tinder and Bumble. “For example, if you are created by your aunt Gladys with someone, it is much more likely to deal with them – or at least to end things in a friendly way than you would meet someone randomly at a bar, then I went out with them – Because there is no this connective tissue socially to enhance good behavior. “

So the distribution of ghosts, solid carbine, is not necessary because people meet online. This is because people meet strangers.

Baton Rouge is a big small town. For people who are part of minority groups who may want to meet other people in the same group, there will be less opportunities – but this is only due to the city’s demographic data.

This can also affect people’s experiences on applications. For Cole Williamson, which is gay, the limited pool affects not only its interactions on applications. Finding and creating friends in the LGBTQ+ community can be a challenge.

“It’s a little uncomfortable,” he said. “I’ve seen people in a public place I have seen in the app, so it just feels like it’s such a small pool.”

He added that it would often increase the age parameters or the distance of the applications, but this did not always happen in its favor.

But sometimes there is a happy one so far

According to Pew Research, by 2023, 1 in 10 partnered (which means married or life with their engaged partner), American adults met online. So, applications work for some.

While Ice plans to move and work remotely, she randomly shook a man she knew in a high school he had not seen for more than 18 years.

They are now married and she remains in a Baton blush for the foreseeable future. Both were in the applications of the biggest part of the time she was on and beyond, and never encountered each other. She thinks this is a blessing in time.

“Even if we met before I met the man I met right in front of him, I don’t think it would work out,” Ledet said. “The way our stories and situations are brought in line with the time when we actually encountered each other is part of what made it work.”